You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
