I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
