I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
