you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
