who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
