One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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