im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
