Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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