some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize