Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize