my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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