It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm bleeding and have questions
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
