just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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