you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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