I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
