Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
