Where is the hickey?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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