I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
