I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
