How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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