I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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