I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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