My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
