I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize