soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize