with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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