First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
