Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
