There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
