i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
