Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
