I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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