Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
