Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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