My hand turned me down
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
