New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
