I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
