Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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