He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
