So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
