PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
