you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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