bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My penis needs a shock collar
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
how drunk are you?
Several
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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