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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
