in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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