do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
