Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
