Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
