I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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