We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize