I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
