I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
