I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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