I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize