it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize