tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
