All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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