I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
