dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
