im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
