I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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