nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
time to smoke my breakfast
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
