you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there was a trapeze. enough said
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
