Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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