last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize