Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
