He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
