Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
